Taking Your Spiritual Pulse

By Jim Aquila

Learn the difference between constructive and destructive truth telling.

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Over the years, I've struggled with how much structure I need to build a rule. People I respect deeply have detailed rules with set times for prayer, established types of prayer, and so on. They say that if they don't get up at 6:30 each morning and take a half hour of prayer time that they will never get to it during the day. However, that does not work for me. It makes my spiritual life into something to add to my to-do list, and it becomes a chore and not a blessing. Over the years, I have found that my rule for prayer needs to be more open-ended. I am committed to praying daily, but how and when I do varies from day-to-day. Some days God gets five minutes of my time, and other days, we spend an hour together.

That's the thing to remember with rules: We all have our own unique relationship with God and we need to pay attention to that. Think of it as you would a close friendship. A friend you might see or talk with daily. What God calls you to do, and how you communicate with God is unique to your own relationship, and it takes some time and experimentation to discern what form your rule should take.

Writing down your rule of life, and learning to live it more intentionally, is, of course the beginning of your spiritual journey. Following your rule deepens your relationship with God, and because of that, your rule will develop and change as you seek God more fully. In the end, it is all a bit circular. We live a rule of life as a response to the God who loves us, and in doing so, we discover "that you are known and loved in a way surpassing anything one can imagine, loved before anyone had thought or spoken your name."

Godly Rules In Four Steps

Step 1

Stand up! Stretch! Smile! Now sit down and write a list of all the things you do that nurture your spirit. Your list may include gardening, walking the dog, making love, talking with close friends, cooking, painting, jumping out of airplanes, or any number of other possibilities. Don't censor yourself. List them all! That list that you create, whether you know it or not, is your unconscious rule of life. By recognizing those things that you do that are already spirit-filled, and by doing them more deliberately, you can make your unconscious rule of life into a conscious one.

Step 2

Divide your list among the eight categories: seeking God, prayer, work, study, spiritual community and worship, care of your body, reaching out, and hospitality. Your initial list may leave some empty categories. Work, for example, may draw a spiritual blank. However, more often than not, we have blanks because we limit our definition of what is spiritual. For instance, being intentional about listening to the wisdom of others at work and considering their opinions is the practice of finding God's guidance in those who surround us. Even recycling paper and practicing stewardship of our materials and time can also be spiritual.

Step 3

Practice being intentional about dedicating your activities to God. Make them a conscious part of your life. Take this rule of life to God in prayer and add to it, as you feel called to do so. Over time, make an effort to fill in any holes in your rule; doing so will help insure that you are leading a balanced life that focuses equally on God's call to you, your own needs, and the needs of the world that surrounds you.

Step 4

Now, follow the Ten Rules for Keeping Rules:

1. Listen to your heart's desires when discerning your rule. God often speaks to us through our heart's desires. 2. Make sure your rule includes some joy, play, and fun. 3. Take baby steps do not make your rule impossible to follow. 4. Baby steps are good, but give yourself a little bit of challenge, too. 5. Figure out how much structure you need: lots or just a little? 6. Learn to pay attention deeply to your practices, whatever they are. It will help to prevent boredom. 7. Find someone to talk with about your rule; it is easy to fool us about all sorts of things. 8. Figure out how to help yourself be accountable for keeping your rule. See a spiritual leader or talk with a spiritual friend about your rule on a regular basis. 9. Read your rule regularly. It is easy to forget the stuff we do not like so much. 10. You are going to have trouble keeping a rule sometimes. Recognize that you are human and try again.

SPIRITUAL GIFTS

Saints are what they are and what they are not because of their sanctity but because the gift of sainthood makes it possible for them to admire everyone else.
-Thomas Merton

You say that you can't create something original? Don't worry about it. Make a cup of clay so that your brother can drink.
-Rumi

If we expect relationships to be ideal, spiritual, friendly and enlightened, we are seeking what we can't even expect in our own minds.
-The Coach

HONESTY AND COMPASSION

Empathetic honesty is fundamentally respectful of other people. For who they are, what they have experienced, where they came from, and where they are now.

Respect insists that we see other people as they truly are, hearing their concerns, paying attention to their longings, listening to their dreams, and quieting their fears.

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