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CYBERSEX and RELATIONSHIPS
Part 4 "Is There Help
For Cybersex Addiction?" |
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Because
this problem is multifaceted there is no single cause for such addictions, but
Kjell Hansson, a psychologist at Lund University in Lund, Sweden, says there
are some risk factors.
They include elements of genetics, family history, poverty, extreme stress, unemployment and
even death of a loved one.
Addiction can be due to chronic, accumulative situations, acute
circumstance such as losing someone you care about.
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For a
number of months I have researched the topic of cybersex on the Web.
Without a doubt, cybersex has reached epidemic proportions. Writing this four part article has come about after reading
the various research on this emerging world of illusion. The major topic has primarily been directed toward gender
differences and about women clothed in an envelope of secrecy where they feel
comfortable talking about sex and exchanging detailed accounts of their sexual
fantasies. With this information
in hand it is now time to focus on an appropriate treatment protocol. Just
Cause for Concern Within
a committed relationship, there exist deep-rooted traditions, biases and
family traits, which have been molded into the framework of the brain. We know, for instance that women tend to be more secretive about their cyber-sexual activity then are men. We find this same restrained behavior associated with several types of addictions, but the behavior is often the same: Acting compulsively or impulsively to fulfill a physical or psychological need. People can be addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, eating and even the Internet. Dr. David N. Greenfield, a psychologist in West Hartford, Conn., who treats people with Internet addictions at the Center for Internet Studies. Greenfield argues that virtual relationships are no substitute for the real deal and that engaging in cybersex can be damaging to real-life relationships. Because this problem is multifaceted there is no single cause for such addictions, but Kjell Hansson, a psychologist at Lund University in Lund, Sweden, says there are some risk factors. They include elements of genetics, family history, poverty, extreme stress, unemployment and even death of a loved one. Addiction also can be due to chronic, accumulative situations, or an acute circumstance, such as losing someone you care about.Dr. Lynne Angus, a psychologist at York University in Toronto, Canada, says it's often the case that the root of compulsive behavior is the person's unsuccessful attempts to change something about him or herself. In addition, people can be enticed by the thrill of engaging in cybersex, gambling, the "high" risk potential for being caught, drug use or other types of addictive behavior. In some cases, the addiction may evolve from a psychological one, she says, to a physiological one in which the body goes into withdrawal unless the fix is fulfilled. Blum, K and Holder, J says a very effective treatment for addiction, even Internet addiction, is acquired through Auriculotherapy and amino acid therapy in which there is very little traditional "talk-therapy". The application of natural remedies helps the patient learn to think differently about his or her behavior. Warning
Signs of Cybersexual Addiction:
People
who suffer from low self-esteem, a distorted body image, untreated sexual
dysfunction, or a prior sexual addiction are more at risk to develop Cybersexual
addictions. In particular, sex
addicts often turn to the Internet as a new and safe sexual outlet to fulfill
their compulsions without the expense of costly 900-lines, the fear of being
seen at an adult bookstore, or the fear of disease among prostitutes. Professional
Roles Naturopaths
and Chiropractors address the problems of cyber-infidelity through the
application of vitamin, mineral, amino acid, Herbal formulas and
Auriculotherapy. This approach
must also include Spiritual Coaching in order to help the innate ability of
the body to heal and balance itself Please, feel free to contact us for more information. These healing elements are available in all parts of the country. E-mail the Coach for the sake of maintaining healthy relationships. What's
the difference between Coaching and traditional "Talk-therapy?"
Coaching
holds clients to be whole, resourceful and creative, fully competent to live
the lives they are meant to live. Rather
than exploring and analyzing the past, we focus on the present, on your
current challenges and how best to meet them.
While many individuals experience improvements in their mental and
emotional health as they learn to set and reach the goals that are similar with their values and that make the most of their resources, this is not the
focus of a coaching relationship. Clients
come into coaching not because they need it, but because they are ready
for it! Face-to-face
Issues of Cyber-infidelity In
general, the coach working with an individual seeking assistance for issues related
to cyber-infidelity would do well to help the individual clarify their current
domestic partner arrangements and agreements, as well as the advantages and
disadvantages of proceeding with self-gratification via the Internet.
In doing so, a history of infidelity-related behaviors would be in
order. More specifically, an
inventory of all Internet-based cyber-infidelity behaviors might be examined.
For example, various types of services used, the frequency, duration,
screen names, personalities portrayed, types of partners of interest online,
drug/alcohol use, and self-imposed limits by patients ought to be explored by
the coach. Overall,
coaches would also do well to learn the details of their patient's interactive
style if they present such issues during the coaching process.
Current state of face-to-face, monogamous relationship is also critical
to understanding the appeal of the Internet world.
Inquiry may uncover other aspects of romance and sexuality related to
personality style, and give valuable clues to coaches as well as researchers,
who have a new arena within which to examine thinking structure, commitment
and sexuality. As with more generalized Internet compulsions, cyber-infidelity may be part of both the problem and the solution. Individuals suffering from the effects of cyber-infidelity may soon be approaching Holistic Coaches for help with cyber-infidelity. They may conceivably approach Holistic Coaches through the Internet and request email consultation, telephone consultation, or other forms of consultation, as well as, or in addition to traditional face-to-face consultation. Coaching
of Cyber-infidelity issues via Email Some
of the more serious ethical questions arise when clients want to obtain
coaching in email. What if I get
stuck or want extra support? Individuals have unlimited access to their coach by email and/or
fax between sessions. You might
use this service to share progress between calls, to ask for advice or
perspective, to submit homework assignments, to post results of processing and
to crow about a success, or to vent frustration when you encounter obstacles.
You may also request brief check-in calls or calls of
encouragement/debriefing before and after an important action.
Regardless of how we design your unique coaching support system, there
is never an extra charge. You pay
one monthly rate for all coaching services. What
about confidentiality?
Coaches
adhere to the highest standards of professional ethics, summarized below.
When
dealing with "informed consent", just how informed of risks and
benefits will our clients be when it comes to coaching through technology,
when many of us barely know, or want to know the inner workings of the human
mind as mediated through technology? The
Holistic Coach may be at a loss for how to best correct a miscommunication if
the unseen, unheard client cannot be relied upon to understand a web-based
consent from, email interpretations or assignments given. Moreover,
the necessity for gathering demographic data, such as telephone number and
street address, are still undefined when the consumer is simply asking a
question about a cyber-affair. As
the Global Community proliferates, it provides us with arena for creating new
problems as well as providing new solutions. "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations; your consciousness expands in every direction; and you will find yourself in a new wonderful world. Dormant forces, facilitates and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." -Patanjali
Sometimes
fortune offers close calls Having
a sigh of relief is not enough; if we Self-discipline
is learned in the face of
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